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Straighter Than Straight

1/27/2011

1 Comment

 
Picture
 
I recently sat down this week to watch Lisa Cholodenko’s The Kids Are All Right (2010).  When this came out last summer I was not drawn to it even though it looked sunny and appealing and full of good actors.  I cannot say why.  Her first two movies were wonderful: High Art (1998) was beautifully shot, and Laurel Canyon (2002) had it all in its careful balance of solid performances, meditation and a stylized slice of California we rarely see.  There was very much a question mark over the movie.  I loved it.  It was very rock n roll, but sad and loose, too.

So I settled down late night after work committed to maybe ½ of of a dvd viewing with a question mark of my own – I was very blasé.  This is the story of a middle-aged lesbian couple, their two teen kids, and the appearance of their sperm donor dad.  The movie of course charmed me all the way to the end: beautifully shot and as carefully served up as a gourmet homegrown meal.  I felt so sunwashed watching it.  LA looked beautiful.  The film has an original tone to it.  I imagined what it might be like to live there with some dough and a family.  As I moved through the picture however things became further and further away…I had the unpleasant sense of watching Annette Bening and Julianne Moore in acting class together.  I was very conscious that I did not remotely believe they were  a couple, or even lesbians (especially Moore).  I smelled this in the preview the summer before.  I found myself only interested in the very straight dad character played by Mark Ruffalo and the two beautifully nuanced performances by the young teen actors.  Julianne woke up around Ruffalo but went act-y around Bening in all of their scenes.  Bening played it so butch and neurotic that I found myself unimmersed and annoyed every time she was onscreen (save the last she has with Ruffalo, which is dynamite).  Both good actors but nervous if you ask me.  Of course their tee shirts looked great.  Very hip.

And this is exactly what has irked me about this much praised film – praised that is for being so cutting edge.  It is a very wonderful style piece (the rhythm of the film is superb) by a wonderful director.  But it ain’t gay – not even close.  It is ruled by the same old scenerios – solidly straight, successful actors “stretching out”, aping gender roles (butch and femme), helplessly surrounded by all of the normal people (Ruffalo and the kids seeking a normal dad and role model) and trying to excuse themselves or defend themselves or whatever.  This is the ground zero of banality.  Like so many gay drag films before it (the wretchedly cast Tom Hanks in Philadelphia) I was squirming in my chair.  So many of the notes the actors were trying to hit went flat; in a pivotal scene the couple has sex to gay male porn.  This felt utterly false to me and completely sexless.  Ah ha!  Sexless.  This same dvd is used as a device when their young son and his friend find it and watch it (assuming it is girl-on-girl action).  The two moms interrogate him to see if he is a homo (which is of course WAY ok).  The scene provoked a double response in me: the dull sitcom numbness watching a tired old scene play out (is there something you want to tell us?) and as I type this now some real outrage at what this suggests.  Are lesbians not gay?  Are they harmless and unthreatening?  Why is the boy being questioned for finding their porn?  Why are they watching male porn (because let me assure you they were not getting off on it)?  I felt like this dvd, the device, was like a knife.  It cut at the gayness in the film.  And it pisses me off. 

It is no secret that the Julianne Moore character humps Mark Ruffalo (who is seriously great in the film and will go unrewarded as the “sperm donor”).  Their scenes together are absolutely alive, real and authentic.  I was prepped to hate this very clichéd turning point in the film; how surprised I was to find it so real!  Am I the homophobe?  I don’t think so.  What I think is that The Kids May Be All Right but the parents are the same old same old: dead, lifeless clichés wearing their gayness on their tee shirts.  What is sad is that as usual the gay characters have no inner life and no real authenticity as a couple.  The beautiful LA house they own is still a closet.  The film is safe and predictable in its handling of the two most important characters.  These women come alive only outside of their coupledom; gayness is thereby repudiated.  The sun shines oh-so prettily.  But it does not shine on them. 

 
1 Comment
Archived Comments)
3/4/2012 01:56:15 am

Dick

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 12:04:43 pm

I agree, fun movie but far from reality. Like no lesbians I know. The kids however were "alright!" So I guess that was the essence of the story.

Diane

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 2:13:04 pm

I didn't get a chance to see this film in the theatre, which is my preferred way to experience a movie, and I haven't seen it on the small screen yet. I think one of the most telling things about your review is that its "gayness" is antithetical to what the film is supposed to be about. So what IS it about? And what would have made it better? Maybe some genuinely gay talent?

I'm looking forward to hearing what others have to say about this movie.

Mark



The movie is so lovely and fun to watch I would definitely recommend it...Mark Ruffalo alone (hubba hubba). Bening and Moore and great too, just not together, hence the review. Go for it! It is like a mini vacation.

Craig Coffee

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 6:14:06 pm

Interesting - I need to watch this movie because I loved both of her previous films. i
It does sound like it has some funk.
I do love that you have an illustration for the review.
Your work is so vivd on this IPad!

Emma G

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 12:18:11 am

We watched the film recently in London having put off watching it for some because of the trailer and the reaction of an older lesbian friend of ours. However, we were really glad that we did see it and loved it.

I totally don't consider this to be a 'gay' film and I don't think it ever should be - it a just a portrail of a version of a 'modern family' where the parents happen to be lesbian.

I recently saw an interview with Lisa Cholodenko at the BFI where she said it was impossible to get a studio to back this film because nobody knew what genre it was or who the audience would be.

Well, I can tell you by the audience at the cinema it really was a very broad cross section of society; gay, straight, young and old. Which is where it's success lies.

It's a mainstream movie in which a gay family relationship is portrayed as being as dull and flawed as everyone elses (albeit in sunny California, in a lush house, where everyone in beautiful and has nice gardens!).

I loved Annette Benning the scene where she is spouting off about recycling in the restaurant is hilarious. Julianne Moore who can do pretty much no wrong in our household is miscast and probably isn't that convincing - I will let off because she fought so hard to get this film made.

There was also much Talk here about why she slept with the male character - but let's face it if she had slept with another woman she would have left and set up home with them and then - dull film!!!! Yes it is a shame that the Annette/julianne sex scene doesn't show the same passion but this is a relationship in crisis.

And as for the gay porn thing - I know alot of gay women who watch it for the same reasons as stated in the film - the majority of lesbian porn is shit...

It's worth finding the Lisa Cholodenko interview on the BFI website - sure she is a little bit arrogant but she is unapologetic for the films that she is making and I love that she is a filmaker who happens to be gay rather than a gay filmmaker. And if off the back of the mainstream success of this film means more films/tv shows where gay characters feature or 'blend' into everyday stories just like everybody else then surely this is a good thing rather than the overtly camp and over the top portrail in so many hollywood films?


Emma G

mark, I love the illustration by the way!

Megan

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 3:59:14 am

I'd sleep with Mark Ruffalo. It's an understandable slip up - gay or straight.

I've not seen the film yet but will. I hated High Art and barely remember Laurel Canyon. Don't have big expectations but I've imagined it's exactly what you (and Emma) have said. Not a gay film.

I'm undecided whether this is a good or a bad thing for manistream America. Is it good to introduce these issues in a language many can understand or does it send out the absolute wrong message? Tricky one.

Mark

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 8:06:12 am

Emma -

I love that you address the male gay porn issue which I find bizarre. I am far from a lesbian and stand to be corrected! I still did not find their marriage believable and some real uncomfortableness lurking as usual underneath things. This is usually better accomplished by a total outsider (say in the way Brits make good movies about America). The film is really good - it could have been deeper. Perhaps you are right in that Julianne throws the balance. She is clearly straight and her scenes with Ruffalo are hot. I think Bening is going to win an Oscar. I find her so mannered but the performance has stuck with me.

Megan we would all sleep with Mark Ruffalo!

Thanks for the compliment Emma! Mark.


Emma

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 8:36:05 am

Ha, just to clarify I know women who watch gay male porn - but don't know if they are using it to get their rocks off!!! I'll ask around!

I suppose the film is

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    Mark Lindsey is an artist and writer formerly from the streets of New York City and now residing in the forests of Connect-icut.  He likes it there. 



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